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Post by Ann on May 19, 2004 19:39:59 GMT
 It was a pe ......... ram and I was sadSo sad I felt my heart would break. (8) All the sky meant rain and badly clad, (9) I wandered around the drear dank lake. (8) If I weren't a christian, O I would plunge, (10) And wipe out my troubles as with a sponge. (10) But the wind moved above, the sun came out. (10) A cowslip at my feet looked up. (8) All the firs shook their limbs about, (8) The swifts came forth for song and sup (8) And my linen looked so refreshed and clean (10) I thought what an idiot I had been. (10) |
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Post by boheme on May 21, 2004 4:43:49 GMT
OK -- I'll start!
It was a pe___ ram and I was sad
So sad I felt my heart would break
All t ____________ and badly ______
I wandered around the drear_____
If I ______ wrist
And wipe out my trouble as
But the vane _______ the sun came out
A flower around[?] my feet looked
All the trees shook limbs about
The birds came forth for
And my _____ looked so refreshed and [clean?]
I thought what an idiot I had been.
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Post by Ann on May 21, 2004 21:53:25 GMT
Wow! Well done.
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Post by boheme on May 22, 2004 1:03:03 GMT
Ahem! A little help here, please   |
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PAWS
Territorial Ruler
Posts: 244
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Post by PAWS on May 22, 2004 8:58:32 GMT
Who needs help? Not you!
...and badly clad
... dreary lake (?)
... I would plunge
And wipe out my troubles as with ... (?)
But the wind moved over/above
A flower at my feet looked up
The birds came forth for song and ...
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PAWS
Territorial Ruler
Posts: 244
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Post by PAWS on May 22, 2004 9:58:05 GMT
It was a pe___ ram and I was sad So sad I felt my heart would break All t ____________ and badly cladI wandered around the drear_____ lakeIf I ______ wrist I would plungeAnd wipe out my trouble s as with a spongeBut the wind moved above the sun came out A flower at my feet looked upAll the trees shook limbs about The birds came forth for song and supAnd my _____ looked so refreshed and lean ?I thought what an idiot I had been. |
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Post by Cathrin on May 22, 2004 10:04:12 GMT
It was a pe- ape? valley?- a ram and i, was sad
I wandered around the drear landscape
A flower at my feet
The swifts came forth
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Post by Ann on May 22, 2004 11:20:38 GMT
A hasp!! All I could think of was a hinge. And Cathrin, I think you're right about the swifts. I was stuck on swallows but it doesn't scan.
I need to get on with some domestic stuff, but if I get time later on, I'll colour code the bits we still need to work on - unless someone else wants to do it?!
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Post by Ann on May 22, 2004 21:38:58 GMT
I've just got a little bit more.
Does anyone know what that thing at the beginning of line 3 is. All I can think of is one of those travelling writing desks, but I can't make anything of changing the d into an h.
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Post by boheme on May 22, 2004 22:27:27 GMT
Does anyone know what that thing at the beginning of line 3 is. All I can think of is one of those travelling writing desks, but I can't make anything of changing the d into an h. LOL -- I must be hungry. My mind keeps telling me that's a slice of cake..... |
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Post by boheme on May 22, 2004 22:38:32 GMT
In the second-to-last line, if that's a line, then the sentence would read:
"And my linen looked so fresh and clean"
Does that make any sense?
And -- ooh ooh ooh -- line #3, how about:
"All the sky meant rain and badly clad"
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Post by Ann on May 22, 2004 23:10:44 GMT
I think we're almost there!
Can anyone work out the metre? Some lines seem to have 8 syllables, others 10. Line 3 currently has 9, so I think we're one short there.
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Post by boheme on May 23, 2004 2:17:20 GMT
Darn it! What's the first line ? ! ? ! ?
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Post by Ann on May 23, 2004 10:40:46 GMT
Do you think in line 3 the sky "threatened rain"? I've been trying to include the extra syllable and you could just about get threatened from the posture of the two men.
That first line has me baffled. Is that a waterfall/cascade/valley/dell/dene/gulley/canyon/gulch/cut. (And no, I haven't resorted to a thesaurus. Yet!)
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PAWS
Territorial Ruler
Posts: 244
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Post by PAWS on May 23, 2004 16:35:33 GMT
Could that 'ram' be a tup or something?
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