Post by Ann on Apr 7, 2002 17:52:36 GMT
I found this on another message board. I've seen something similar before, but it still made me laugh, so I thought I'd add it here.
Things CATS Must Try To Remember!
Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.
I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.
If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.
The guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while. I will not watch him constantly.
If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.
I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at nothing right after my human has finished watching "The X-Files".
The television and computer screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.
No matter how dangly and attractive they are, my human's earrings are not cat toys.
If I play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true.
My human is capable of cooking bacon and eggs without my help.
I am a carnivore. Potted plants are not meat.
The goldfish likes living in water and must be allowed to remain its bowl.
I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside.
The large dog in the backyard has lived there for six years and I will not freak out every time I see it.
If I must give a present to my human's overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more acceptable than a live one, even if it isn't as tasty.
Just because I hear voices in my head, I do not have to answer them!
Ann
Things CATS Must Try To Remember!
Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.
I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.
If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.
The guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while. I will not watch him constantly.
If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.
I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at nothing right after my human has finished watching "The X-Files".
The television and computer screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.
No matter how dangly and attractive they are, my human's earrings are not cat toys.
If I play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true.
My human is capable of cooking bacon and eggs without my help.
I am a carnivore. Potted plants are not meat.
The goldfish likes living in water and must be allowed to remain its bowl.
I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside.
The large dog in the backyard has lived there for six years and I will not freak out every time I see it.
If I must give a present to my human's overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more acceptable than a live one, even if it isn't as tasty.
Just because I hear voices in my head, I do not have to answer them!
Ann
